Fifty Shades of Greynarrated by Gilbert Gottfried
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.
i am crying i am literally crying i am laughing so hard that there are tears trickling from my eyes oh my god
perfect, perfect, perfect
I CAN’T OH MY GOD THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS
I wish I could play this for every customer that asks me for this book.
WE WERE LISTENING TO THIS IN THE CAR TODAY AFTER WORK
THIS OH MY GOD
I FEEL THE SAME WAY, I WORK AT BOOKS-A-MILLION AND WE HAVE THE BOXED SET
HOOOOLY FUUCK, IS THIS WRONG.
WAIT THERE IS A BOXED SET WITH GILBERT READING IT
Disney movies + “It’s a Small World” References
(click on gifs for movie titles)
The Fall series 2
Here it is! Our first teaser!
Brenda, I just upheld your authority. This is where you thank me. You promised me there wouldn’t be any question about my authority. Every time I turn around, I’m havin’ to remind people that I go first. Makes me really popular.
Boromir cuddling Hobbits because why not.
boromir’s character makes me so sad, because honestly, he was one of the most caring in the fellowship. he understood their mission and wanted to get it done as successfully as possible, but he wanted what was best for everyone with them as well. he felt the need to care for all the hobbits, not just frodo. and when he made a mistake, it destroyed him. he saw that he was weak and that he nearly ruined everything. and he died trying to make that right. boromir is the best.
"I really don’t know what "I love you" means.
I think it means “Don’t leave me here alone.”
- Neil Gaiman
#’go and work at Stormcage’ they said #’it’ll be fun’ they said #’how on earth did you get sacked after the first day?’ they said #no but srsly lol #poor guy #first day at job - and he’s guarding river #and she wants to escape#sucks to be you dude #but idk why they keep on trying to keep her in her cell when she intends on leaving it #I mean sure - I can understand that they tried to stop fer from escaping the first time #and the second time #and the sixth and ninth #but after her bazillionth attempt - bazillionth attempt that ended with success #they just should’ve stopped #and help her with packing #’which dress do you want me to pack dr Song? how many guns? condoms?’ #’dress warmly dr Song! and eat regularly’#’see you later doctor Song!’ #doctor who #river song #queen of all the time and space (via your-bespoke-psychopath)
#I bet they put him there on purpose#guarding River’s cell is like Stormcage hazing #the other guards are in the control room #watching the monitors and trading bets #somebody brought pretzels and they’re elbowing each other and offering live commentary #DON’T BRING HER THE PHONE MAN IT IS A TRAP #oh god #he’s so dumb #what do you think? is she gonna knock him out? #use the lipstick #aww man I love the lipstick #BEST DISCIPLINARY ACTION EVER #oh oh oh LOOK #SHE IS REACHING FOR THE CLEAVAGE #LIPSTICK IT IS #WIN #OH YOU STUPID BASTARD YOU DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE!!! #did he just TELL her it’s his first day? #GOD DAMMIT MAN ARE YOU STUPID? #DID YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION IN ORIENTATION? #oh - oh - AND THERE HE GOES #you dumbass #Bye River #oh look she’s drawing something #should we sound the alarm? #nahhhh #man I hope she brings us back something good#last time she went to some planet called America and brought us all back these calandars (via areyoumarriedriver)